Day four – kind to myself

Today I thought I’d talk about being kind to myself because that is actually something that I really struggle with. I have experienced abuse and it’s scarily easy to revert back to that type of behaviour where everything is my fault and I’m absolute trash.

That’s why I try to put effort into being nice to myself. Being nice to others makes me happy and feels rewarding but being kind to myself doesn’t at first glance seem as appealing. However, it’s very important. Self-care is a thing for a reason.

We need to be like ourselves, just because we tend to spend quite a lot of time with ourselves over the course of our lives. Imagine being with someone you hate 24/7.

Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m kind to myself almost out of spite, I force it even if I don’t like myself that much that day. If you’re kind to others but can’t be kind to yourself, you’re a hypocrite. You can say anything you want about me but hypocrite I am not.

Here are some kind things I have done for myself lately just because it’s nice:

  • Sat next to a river eating ice cream and watching dogs play.
  • Bought myself flowers, because I love flowers and having them in the house makes me happy.
  • Sprinkle some lavender oil on my hands and chest so everything smells lovely for a while.
  • Enjoy the things I like without being embarrassed for liking them, such as watching documentaries on people who marry their sex dolls or singing along to intros of old cartoons.
  • Felt like I couldn’t handle going out one day, so I didn’t force myself.
  • Cleaning, because being in a clean house makes me feel nice.
  • Using perfume even though I’m not leaving the house.
  • Got myself a vase for all the flowers I buy myself, because I’ve been looking for a certain kind of vase for a long time, small yet sturdy, and I’m very pleased to have the exact kind of vase I wanted.
  • Cutting my hair the style I want even though someone else says they don’t like it, it doesn’t suit me or that I would look better in some other kind of hairstyle.
  • Burn candles.
  • Don’t give myself a hard time for freaking out over things because of my PTSD.
  • Talk to animals.
  • Spend time only with people who respect me and are kind to me.
  • Buying blueberries because I like them.
  • Done something that has no reward just because I enjoy it, like playing Sims for four hours.

What have you done to be kind to yourself today?

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