Today I thought I’d make a little list because I am
too lazy to write a proper post thought that I’m probably tapping into a deep well. Insomnia is one of the hardest things for people to understand if they’ve never experienced it themselves and the stupidities I’ve heard would make a book on their own right.
So here are some of the best, feel free to add your own.
- “Why don’t you just sleep?” Jesus Christ, haven’t thought of that! You absolute genius, you cracked it!
- “How can you not sleep? I’ve never had trouble sleeping. I just close my eyes and that’s that.” Thx 4 tht m8, nice 2 know.
- “Sleep is something you should be able to do naturally.” Really?
- “Why do you have to take sleeping pills?” You know, just fancied it.
- “How did you sleep last night? I slept wonderfully. I feel so recharged!” Excuse me, I need to leave your presence before repeatedly stabbing you with this pencil.
- “Have you tried (insert something they’ve read about or looked up on the internet)?” See previous.
- “You shouldn’t use your phone for an hour before bed.” And now you tell me, after months of not sleeping more than an hour and a half! It was my phone all along! Well now I’m embarrassed.
- “You’re drinking quite a lot of coffee.” Nooo…
- “I slept really badly these past few nights, I know how you feel!” Where was that pencil again?
- “Do you (insert an incredibly stupid question to determine whether I’ve been causing my months of little to no sleep by having the wrong kind of sheets)?” You never told me you worked for the fucking NHS as the unsolicited advice provider.
- “Have you thought about having a worry journal next to your bed so you could write what’s bothering you and stopping you from sleeping?” All righty, worry no 1: I CAN’T SLEEP.
- “Just try not to think about it!” Didn’t know this was going to be so complicated.
- “It’s not a proper sleep with sleeping pills.” Well I’m sorry I didn’t pass your quality test!
- “You don’t want to get addicted to the sleeping pills!” M8, at this point I’d shoot heroin up to my eyeball if it meant that I could sleep.
- “You look tired.” Oh. dear.
- “Are you still not sleeping?” Believe me, I might have mentioned had I managed to sleep for the first time in months.
- “I wish I had insomnia, I’d get so much stuff done.” Well you still seem to have enough time to formulate that thought and think that was a useful thing to say.
- “I don’t know how you do it, I love sleeping!” Oh you know, gave it a try and just realised it’s not my thing.