Sex cures depression, who knew?

It’s a funny old thing, getting wound up. Sometimes I need to see something a number of times for it to annoy me. Sometimes I need to see something just once and I’m ready to fire up a post about it.

Today’s rant is one of the latter. Welcome once again to the series ‘Shit depressed people have to hear!’ How excited were you for this to come back, on a scale of 10 to 10? I just want to start off by saying that I’m really trying not to make this similar to my previous post ‘I’m depressed because I don’t have a girlfriend.’ Today’s idiocy was just something that I could not ignore.

So let’s get right to it. I was browsing the anonymous depression forum where I try to offer peer support from time to time. The message read as follows:

‘I had sex for the first time. I’m still depressed and anxious this shit sucks. Nothing will ever cure this.’

Right. Right. OK. I’m really trying not to get angry because there’s no point in me getting angry but fuck it I AM angry. I’m fucking pissed off. I don’t care how much of a shithead this makes me sound. An attitude like this shouldn’t exist.

You may or may not have noticed that I absolutely fucking loathe the saying ‘I feel depressed’ because depression is not a feeling. It’s at its worst a debilitating and terminal mental illness, and saying the aforementioned sentence just supports the stereotype that depression is something someone chooses to have. Tell that to anyone who’s had to debate for the last three hours whether or not they have the strength to go to the bathroom and see what happens.

I don’t care that everyone says stupid shit at some point of their lives or that if we’re feeling bad, it might make us say things that we haven’t thought through. I’m sick of being the bigger person all the time. Every once in a while someone HAS to be called out for the utter fucking nonsense they splutter. I don’t give a single fuck because never at any point during my illness or before it have I suggested that a nice romp would magically cure me or anyone else of depression.

“I had sex but I’m still depressed!”

Oh dear, are you sure that it was the right type of sex? Because in order to cure depression, you need to surround yourself and your partner with a circle of salt, light up 126 different coloured candles, do the magic mating dance, sacrifice some blood for the god of serotonin and yell ‘begone Satan!’ as you both climax simultaneously. Otherwise it doesn’t work.

With all the joking aside, the fact that someone even dares to suggest that something as ordinary as sex (I know, I know, having it away is the goal of life and be all end all etc etc etc) would do anything to change the status of your illness is incredibly insulting.

The worst part is that people are supporting this! You have others in the same thread saying that a gf with regular Sex (sex with a capital S, I’m not even kidding) every day or every other day might cure it or help greatly.

I know I’m repeating myself but can I just please refer to the trusty Mind charity once again?

In many cases, you might find your depression has been triggered by an unwelcome, stressful or traumatic event. This could be:

  • losing your job or unemployment

  • the end of a relationship

  • bereavement

  • major life changes, like changing job, moving house or getting married

  • being physically or sexually assaulted

  • being bullied or abused


You’re not depressed if you’re not getting laid!

Getting laid doesn’t cure depression!

You are not entitled to sex!

In fact you’re entitled to jackshit!

Nobody should feel guilty for not providing you the sex that you’d so desperately deserve in order to be well!

You dickhead!

All right, I feel like I’ve spent more time with this dribble than I would ever like to. But just in case my opinion hasn’t become clear, allow me to repeat:

*~You are not depressed because you don’t have sex and having sex doesn’t cure depression.~*

Also don’t think that I’m just passive-aggressively posting about it. Of course I told this on that thread as well.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Jesus Christ I hate people.


  1. Has anyone considered the classic combination of being depressed significantly lowering your libido… and then your depression medication lowering it even more… If anyone is waiting for sex to cure them, you will be waiting A LONG FUCKING TIME.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I’m currently reading a book by a guy who I knew going in sounded pretty out there, but then full dumbass status was cemented when I read the line “It was only when I stopped taking the [SSRI] and I started having more pleasurable sex again that I remembered regular sex is one of the best natural antidepressants in the world.” It reminds me of the men who think they can turn a lesbian straight if she just gets a little penis. Oh yeah sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is absolutely ridiculous. I mean, to be frank, the LAST thing I want to do most of the time is have sex because of my depression. It is astounding how the ridiculous nonsense people come out with, even with the increased awareness of these illnesses. Just goes to show there’s plenty more work to be done!

    Ruth |

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh yeah, I agree with you 100% Don’t have energy for such nonsense. I think the problem is that people who don’t have an actual diagnosis of depression come to these forums because they ‘feel depressed’ and this word vomit ensues.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. In my recent struggle I had 0 desire for sex at all! Jeeze I couldn’t even get myself out of bed for a few days let alone get my leg over!! I think this is quite dangerous thinking too because they are giving the power of “curing” themselves to someone else not only do I think people shouldn’t rely that heavily on someone I also think relying so much on someone else to cure them could actually make them worse if they actually do have MH issues. It’s unhealthy (imo)

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s incredibly dangerous. I could be wrong but I honestly don’t think that people of this line of thinking have depression. They have other issues in their lives and have decided to call it ‘depression.’


  5. I freaking laughed so hard at this, with the “circle of salt” and so on… Yes, getting it on can make you feel better. It can make you feel worse, especially if you’re not feeling all that sexy to begin with. Good Lord…. What a very Victorian cure for melancholy!

    Liked by 1 person

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